Lately I have been surrounded by very successful working mothers. Mothers who make working outside of the home seem easy and fulfilling. Working mothers who seem very happy and satisfied with life. Being around these women makes me take my mind to where I probably shouldn't take it. Being around them begs me to take a picture of my life and analyze. Am I happy? Am I fulfilled? To be perfectly honest, I don't know if I can answer 100% yes. Cleaning a house, cooking dinners, driving your kids around, changing diapers, doing laundry, only speaking to children most days, ALWAYS being there can slowly drive a woman insane!
I NEVER viewed staying home with my children as a sacrifice until recently. I am being forced to wonder where my career would be if I hadn't taken off 9 years (so far) to raise children. How much money would I be making? Where would I be working? Would I have gone back to school? I was very interested in becoming a nurse anesthetist and I probably would have been one if I hadn't stayed home with my sweeties. Don't get me wrong.....I am not complaining. I chose to do this job without hesitation. I'm just sort of thinking out loud right now.
I am a VERY motherly person. One who likes to nurture and take care of people, especially my children. I know if I had chosen the other route (working outside of the home) I would be asking myself the questions of are my kids happy? Are they adjusted? Do they wish I was home? And so on and so forth. I do think that whether you choose to work at home (be full time mommy) or work outside of the home you may question yourself either way? Both are hard. I'm not really sure why all of a sudden I am just now wondering about all of this. I feel like I should have wondered about it before now!!!
I'll be honest in saying that sometimes I envy the working mother. I envy that they get to maintain an independence and identity other than being a mother. They have the luxury of having adult interactions and their work (to me) could be viewed as a "break" from family life. Maybe working mothers envy me as well? I always get to be home with my kids.
It's all good though. For me, right now, this is the best thing. It is very reassuring to me to know that I am ALWAYS here even if it is exhausting. Nobody has to take a sick day or a vacation day when one of the kids is sick or there is a snow day (which actually happens alot). I can always drive to and make most events, sporting or otherwise.
Haha! Nick's face cracks me up in this picture. If given a "redo" I would probably choose this same path! Although I don't get paid in money, I do get paid in alot of other ways!
Jules
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