School is back in session. This is maybe the first year that I wasn't really looking forward to "back to school" time. This summer went way to fast and didn't last long enough. I am not looking forward to early bedtimes and homework and it getting dark early. I think part of my dreading back to school day is because my 5 year old started his elementary career last Wednesday. I thought I would be fine, I honestly did. In fact, I was fine until I saw his little face peeking out of the bus window as the bus was pulling away leaving me. I'll never forget the image of just his face peeking out the window with an ear to ear grin flashing me his black tooth smile (that only a mother could love) and feverishly waving to me. I waved and smiled and went into the house and sobbed. I drove to the school to make sure he got to his class okay on his first day. He was so fine and didn't appear nervous at all. He was just really proud to be sporting his new KC Royals backpack and officially declare himself a Kindergartner. My second grader wasn't as excited as his brother. He was more nervous I think.
The whole day I was fine one minute and then the next minute have huge tears welling up in my eyes. It's so hard to let go. I was worried about all kinds of things like was he going to be able to carry his lunch tray by himself? Would he be able to button his pants after he went to the bathroom? What if his shoe became untied? Would he be confused at lunch and pick out an appropriate balanced lunch? Would he find little friends to play with at recess? Do I need to get a life or what? What the hell am I going to do when they leave for college? YIKES! I can't even imagine that one. 
I also can't help but wonder if I did enough to prepare him. Not being home with me everyday is a BIG deal. At least to me. I honestly realized that morning that being a mom is so rewarding but also so heartbreaking. After you are a mom you just have to face a lifetime of letting go. I realize that it is a good thing to be able to let go it's just so incredibly hard!
Jules
2 comments:
Hi Julie -
I just wanted to let you know that I know what you're feeling. We also have a 5 year old starting Kindergarten this year, with the added twist of him being our first and only. We are somewhat excited, and super, SUPER nervous! Alice doesn't think she can let him get on the bus at all!
This Thursday, our school district had the brilliant idea of letting Kindergarten kids and a parent ride the bus to school, just to see what it's like. School starts in September for us, so the timing is perfect to build up excitement (for the kid), and anxiety (for me).
Nice pictures, by the way! Hope the first day went well for the boys.
Take care!
Steve-Good luck! It is a hard day but I think you will find that Aiden will love it. Riding the bus is a big deal. I love that you can ride the first day with him! At least Brady had his big brother on the bus with him. I hope your first day goes smooth!
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